Most of the time, we know that we should resolve a dispute or a problematic issue and yet we avoid doing so. We hesitate, not wanting to disturb the seemingly more acceptable "peace of arms". In the area of relationships, we thereby erode mutual trust and lose the opportunity to strengthen the relationship in the future by finding a solution together. It does not matter whether the relationship is a partnership, a working relationship, a neighbourly relationship or a business one.
If we leave a dispute unresolved for a long time, we may reach a point where we no longer know how to handle it. Most of us have grown up in an environment where we were used to/ have been taught to ask a third-party authority figure to decide for us in such situations. In childhood it was a parent, a teacher, then in adulthood, it was a supervisor, an authority, a court... However, despite trying to be objective, the authority decides and determines based on their view what is more reasonable, practical, or in accordance with the rules or laws given. At such a point, the process usually shrinks down to a search for the culprit or a quick end to the dispute, and the disputing parties have little influence on the shape of the outcome. Yet such methods are often very lengthy and place additional demands on the participants' patience and energy.
But it is the participants who have the most information about the development of the dispute, their real motives and their own needs and interests! And they have the best chance, through their active conscious participation, to find the root cause of the conflict and mutually acceptable and beneficial solutions.
But in order not to be left alone, the participants can be helped in their search by a guide who will bring structure to the process of finding an agreement and help with communication and emotional barriers.
So what does a more effective dispute resolution look like in the main points?
TIMELY - FAST - OPEN - IMPARTIAL - ACCEPTING OF BOTH SIDES
- GIVES ROOM FOR GROWTH - LEAVES ACCOUNTABILITY - IS ANONYMOUS
- You start resolving the dispute at the beginning and don't let it escalate. (TIMELINESS)
- A guide walking you through the process of finding an agreement in a dispute is quickly available. (ACCESSIBILITY)
- The guide listens to the needs and motivations of both parties. (OPENNESS)
- The guide does not adjudicate the dispute but helps the parties find mutually acceptable solutions. (IMPARTIALITY)
- The guide listens and accepts any emotions (ACCEPTANCE) and helps to see their source.
- The outcome of a dispute is not a winner and a loser, but a common agreement. You are not undermining future relationships, on the contrary, you are strengthening relationships and mutual trust. (GROWTH)
- The responsibility for the agreement remains with the disputants, you do not pass it on to another authority. (RESPONSIBILITY)
- The resolution process respects the privacy and takes into account the sensitivity of topics and information. (ANONYMITY)
All of these points we strive to fulfil at Disputio. Together, let's transform your conflicts from unpleasant, feared and destructive events into opportunities to strengthen your relationships and grow together for the long term. Conflict is a necessary dynamizing element of human development, let's start using and perceiving it that way again.